"Sorry, I can't--I'm all out of spoons for today."
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| How will you use your spoons today? |
What does this mean? If you don't know about the Spoon Theory, this probably seems like an odd response. What do spoons have to do with being available for coffee? And yet, spoons have everything with being able to go grab coffee with a friend, pulling weeds from your garden, or even getting up out of bed in the morning. The Spoon Theory demonstrates the difference between "normal" people and those with physical or psychological difficulties in experiencing day-to-day existence. So what exactly is the Spoon Theory?
The Spoon Theory goes like this: Everybody gets some number of spoons to use throughout their day like currency. "Normal" people, those without any major life-limiting factors, start out with an unlimited number of spoons. Those with some kind of medical issue, however, start out with, say, 15 spoons that they can use at any point throughout the day. Every activity throughout the course of the day costs a certain number of spoons--for example, brushing your teeth might be one spoon, while going to a doctor's appointment might be four or five spoons. The number of spoons that an activity costs varies depending on the individual and his or her specific difficulties in life. For someone who is mobility-impaired, even lifting up an object can cost a spoon, while for an able-bodied individual, it might not even cost a spoon.
People with limited spoons have to worry about how and when they use their spoons on any given day, because they can run out of spoons very early in the day if they aren't careful. But sometimes being careful isn't enough: sometimes a day calls for more spoons than you have, in which case, not even your best planning could prevent you from running out of spoons, and it can be very difficult to replenish spoons before the start of the next day.
Then what's the purpose of the Spoon Theory? Sometimes "normal" people have a difficult time understanding what it's like to live with a life-limiting difficulty, because they know no other reality than their own existence. It can be easy for them to tell someone who is, say, depressed, "But coffee with a friend will make you feel happy," instead of understanding why that person can't go (and for the record, that statement also represents a misunderstanding of what depression is). The metaphor of the Spoon Theory bridges that gap in understanding. It boils down the complexity of life into a simple scenario, but one that is powerful and that works. Instead of having to explain every detail of why it's so impossible to just get coffee with someone, you can just tell them that you're out of spoons, and if they know the Theory, then they'll understand exactly why you can't. It also protects your own confidentiality, since you don't have to bear any stigmas by explaining your situation further. It creates a neutral playing field where everyone can understand one another and be more tolerant.
Please help spread the Spoon Theory--together, we can spread understanding, love, and tolerance for other people and the difficulties they face on a day-to-day basis. And please, if someone tells you that they're all out of spoons for the day, be understanding--some day, you might experience a situation where you run out of spoons, too. I hope the Spoon Theory can make us all more sensitive to each other's situations and individual difficulties that we face. I really do hope we can create a more tolerant world where it's okay to cancel coffee because you're all out of spoons, where you don't even need an excuse any more than "I'm out of spoons." And I hope we can love each other through it all and lend a spoon wherever possible.
xoxoxo
Kelsie Iris
Check out these posts of mine:
SD team etiquette -- http://kelsieiris.blogspot.com/2015/04/dos-and-donts-of-encountering-service.html
Confused? Here are some terms and abbreviations -- http://kelsieiris.blogspot.com/2015/04/as-abbreviations.html
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